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Preview Gayfiction Novel: » Rent Boy © «
"Will it help? I don't fucking know, but hear me out
Josh, I need to know, to know who you are, what makes you, and yes,
telling me the gory details isn't going to be fun to hear and it isn't
nice stuff, obviously; but if you love me, and I think you do, then you
have to tell me, for both of us, if you want to make this work, do
you?" "Yes
I do, but I can't, you don't understand do you Darren? I, this whole past
is just that, I put it behind me, I don't want to bring it up again." "Then
why did you tell me about it, if it is the past, if it doesn't matter?
Huh? Tell me that!" "I,
well, because, I guess it might come up, when you don't expect it to, and
well, I couldn't go on with you, without telling you, you have that
right." "Sure
I have the right to know you sold your ass, but not the why's or to who or
what, hey?" "Well,
all right, yes you do have the right to know all that, but Darren it isn't
going to help, it won't make it any easier." "Are
you sure? I think it will, and not to condemn you, I want you so badly
Josh, but we can't have secrets, not this kind anyway." "It
isn't a secret, you know about me now, so why do we have to go through it
all? I don't see how that is going to change anything." "You
know, when you said you wanted to go out for dinner tonight, cause you
needed to talk to me, this isn't what I thought it would be. I thought you
were going to confess your undying love to me, instead you tell me you
used to be a hustler, and now ...." "Now
what? Now you think I am hiding more from you? You think I am still
turning tricks, is that it?" "No,
well, I don't know, I don't know why you did what you did, so how can I
know now? Don't you see I love you so much, I have to be a part of it all,
I can't just let it go, I don't want to lose you Josh, and I can't just
walk away from this, can't you at least see that?" "You
say you love me, you want me, well this is who I am, my past is part of
that, and if you can't accept that, well then maybe you don't love me like
you thought." "That's
unfair Josh; you don't think I love you? You think I am looking for an
excuse to dump you? You are wrong, oh man are you ever wrong, I want you
more than ever, but I need to know who I love, not just the pretty
packaging and I thought I did know you, until tonight." "I
can't just have a drink or two, tell you a few tales, and then leave it at
that Darren, you want to hear about seven years of hell and pain? Cause
that is what it has been, a life of pure crap, until lately, and even now
that is going, if not gone."
Darren could see the pain in Josh's eyes, and he was almost in
tears. The conversation was at a stand still. He loved this boy, this man
who had been hurt so much, and he didn't know how to make him understand
that he loved him more than anything else.
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