Stories about & for us Queers

"Will it help? I don't fucking know, but hear me out Josh, I need to know, to know who you are, what makes you, and yes, telling me the gory details isn't going to be fun to hear and it isn't nice stuff, obviously; but if you love me, and I think you do, then you have to tell me, for both of us, if you want to make this work, do you?"

"Yes I do, but I can't, you don't understand do you Darren? I, this whole past is just that, I put it behind me, I don't want to bring it up again."

"Then why did you tell me about it, if it is the past, if it doesn't matter? Huh? Tell me that!"

"I, well, because, I guess it might come up, when you don't expect it to, and well, I couldn't go on with you, without telling you, you have that right."

"Sure I have the right to know you sold your ass, but not the why's or to who or what, hey?"

"Well, all right, yes you do have the right to know all that, but Darren it isn't going to help, it won't make it any easier."

"Are you sure? I think it will, and not to condemn you, I want you so badly Josh, but we can't have secrets, not this kind anyway."

"It isn't a secret, you know about me now, so why do we have to go through it all? I don't see how that is going to change anything."

"You know, when you said you wanted to go out for dinner tonight, cause you needed to talk to me, this isn't what I thought it would be. I thought you were going to confess your undying love to me, instead you tell me you used to be a hustler, and now ...."

"Now what? Now you think I am hiding more from you? You think I am still turning tricks, is that it?"

"No, well, I don't know, I don't know why you did what you did, so how can I know now? Don't you see I love you so much, I have to be a part of it all, I can't just let it go, I don't want to lose you Josh, and I can't just walk away from this, can't you at least see that?"

"You say you love me, you want me, well this is who I am, my past is part of that, and if you can't accept that, well then maybe you don't love me like you thought."

"That's unfair Josh; you don't think I love you? You think I am looking for an excuse to dump you? You are wrong, oh man are you ever wrong, I want you more than ever, but I need to know who I love, not just the pretty packaging and I thought I did know you, until tonight."

"I can't just have a drink or two, tell you a few tales, and then leave it at that Darren, you want to hear about seven years of hell and pain? Cause that is what it has been, a life of pure crap, until lately, and even now that is going, if not gone."

Darren could see the pain in Josh's eyes, and he was almost in tears. The conversation was at a stand still. He loved this boy, this man who had been hurt so much, and he didn't know how to make him understand that he loved him more than anything else. He rose from the chair, to stand over Josh, and he bent down, sitting next to him, looking at the lowered head, the tears running down the cheeks. With a soft

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