Stories about & for us Queers

Kevin could see the battle raging inside his old mentor. There was pity for this man, who really was a good man, inside. He could recall the tenderness that Russ had shown all of them, the way he had disciplined them with compassion and how it was far worse to know you had disappointed Father Russ than it was to get the paddle. He knew he was being unfair in his attack, but he couldn’t help it. Those kids, their helplessness and their innocence was too precious to allow some pervert hiding behind a false code of ethics to subvert. He had to stop it, at least here and he had to make Father Russ see that, somehow.

“Father Russ.... please.... listen to me.... I am not....”

“No Kevin... i’ll not listen anymore to this.... not now Kevin MacNeely... do you hear?..... not now...”

“Please father..... I beg you.....”

“NO !..... no .... I can’t listen to this now... you must leave me alone... you can’t expect me to help you.... I won’t be a Judas.... do you hear me Kevin... I WON’T BE A JUDAS !”

With that emphatic answer, Father Russ rose to his full height and he stood straight. The pain in his heart was tearing him apart. He saw the absolute look of disappointment in Kevin’s face and it only made him ache even more. How sad he felt right now, how all alone he felt as he walked to the door, signalling that Kevin’s presence was no longer wanted. His hand shook slightly as he grabbed the door knob, and opened his front door.

The sun had been shining, and as he opened the door it fell behind a dark cloud and Father Russ watched the golden rays of the sun slowly sink away from his face to hide behind a dark cloud. Well Lord, he thought... I am merely a mortal man and I must do what I think best... I have not your strength and I must protect the church.. it is all that stands between man and eternal damnation... no matter how much it pains me.

Kevin walked slowly towards the opened door. He was angry and also very sad. For a brief moment, when he had seen his picture on that wall, he thought there might be a chance, now he didn’t know what he was going to do. Slowly he gathered himself together and with a definite reluctance, he headed out of the house of his mentor, knowing that his presence no longer brought joy to the one man who he wished above all other’s to make proud of him. Instead he had screwed up and

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